Ruminations
by thesunshinekid
Summary: Angela has always been very observant.


**Disclaimer:** **I own neither Twilight, nor its respective characters. **

I was vacillating between "Are you serious?" and "I saw this coming." I always knew this would happen, sooner rather than later, but this was earlier than even I'd anticipated.

What boggled my mind the most, as I leaned against the kitchen counter and reread the stylish wedding invitation, was how Edward had gotten Bella to agree to this. I knew that it wasn't Bella's idea. She would be worried about what people thought; too busy remembering her own parents' early marriage, and its subsequent early failure. I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't the married-straight-outta-high-school type, no matter how madly in love she was with her boyfriend.

Though, at first impression, Edward wasn't exactly the frills and wedding bells type of guy either. Until Bella came to Forks, he refused to so much as date, though not for some girls' lack of trying. It was as if Edward saved his entire heart for Bella, and was content with nothing less than everything he could give her. All his love, the rest of his life; all wrapped up in a precious wedding band.

The way he looked at her – it was so intense, so filled with love and sometimes so much pain, too – I'd never doubted that they would be wed. As awful as it was to watch Bella in those months that they'd been separated, I wondered if it was even more unbearable for him. He was never going to live without her again, that much was certain – and so, a wedding.

Once, I'd thought idly about what it would be like to have Ben look at me the way Edward looked at Bella. I realized quickly that I wouldn't like it; I would be scared of such intensity.

I guess what shocked me was that the engagement had happened so soon, with the wedding on such short notice. Of course, I'd attend – how could I say no? I wouldn't miss Bella's wedding for the world. No doubt Alice had put a lot of planning into it, and she'd want as many people as possible to appreciate her hard work.

Oh yes, I'd gotten to know her well enough too. I wasn't exactly friends with Cullens, but I'd gotten to know them as people, where the rest of the student population just saw them as curious strangers. There was no way Bella had chosen expensive, flowery invitations such as this. It wasn't her style. Town hall was more her style – even an ordained Elvis would be easier for her to deal with. Clearly, Bella was doing this for Edward – because she never wanted to be separated from him, either.

I heard the grind of the garage door opening, and found myself unsettled about showing the invite to my mother. She would say they were a bit too young – couldn't they wait until after college? – and then she'd decide that maybe, if they truly wanted to be together, it was better this way, that they do things properly.

Then my mother would look at me with her "stern" face on; I only saw the stern face once in a while, and had learned early to fear it. She would ask me about my relationship with Ben, about our "plans," and she would make sure I wasn't in over my head. Wordlessly, she would beg me, _please don't get married __now, __too._

I _wasn't_ in over my head, and I knew that. I wasn't about to accept any romantic flowers-and-candlelight proposals either. But my mother didn't know all this. She was wary enough of her eighteen-year-old daughter dating; my father was a minister, and had heard all the horror stories of teenage girls making mistakes and ending up pregnant or depressed with a shattered heart. But, if she were to spend any length of time with the four of us – me and Ben, Bella and Edward – she'd see the difference.

I knew that Ben loved me. I loved him, too. Ours was an easygoing love. If we didn't make it through college, we'd be okay. I'd live, move on and be happy – I could also be happy with him for forever. But forever didn't begin right now; definitely not right now.

If my mother didn't see that, what _did_ people see when they saw me with Ben? Did they see the happy, comfortable couple that we were? Did they see us sitting at lunch with Bella and Edward, and did our love pale in comparison?

Did Bella know what people saw when they saw her with Edward? How obviously _together_ they were? Beyond boyfriend-girlfriend together. I'd never been sure if I believed in soulmates, but they had me almost convinced. Almost – except for that poor Jacob kid. He loved Bella too, the way Ben loved me.

"What have you got there, hon?" My mother dragged four overflowing paper grocery bags to the kitchen, and pulled me from my thoughts.

"Umm, Mom…" She looked at me expectantly. I needed a gentle way to break this to her. "Here, let me help you." It was stalling for time, but I didn't want to just drop this on her. Who knew what kind of reaction that would create? I began unpacking cans of tomato soup and pineapple slices, hoping that she'd appreciate the gesture. For this conversation, I wanted her in a good mood.


End file.
